burying, digging, and power

One day, several years ago, I buried something very powerful. It was beautiful and pure, but also scary and daunting. And it contained a tremendous amount of energy. It overwhelmed me, and I didn’t know how to deal with the power contained therein. I couldn’t wield that much power myself, and with little promise of outside help wielding it, I was afraid, and had a very difficult time staying grounded when I held it.

So I buried it.

I’ve since visited that X-spot on the map many, many times, but last week, I dug it up again. It hadn’t really changed much. It’s still every bit as powerful as it was. But it’s no longer as scary. You see, I’ve become more powerful since I buried it. I now have no trouble holding it, admiring it, looking at it in the eye from every angle, and staying grounded while I do so. It still dazzles me with its beauty. It still awes me with its uncountable potential for good. And it is still utterly enthralling to the deepest levels of my soul.

Now I have to let it go.

It is nothing more than a beautiful image, a what-if, an alluring, prenascent expectation. And the wisest thing that’s been pointed out to me in weeks is “expectations are for amateurs.”

Now, there is something deeper still than this artifact from my past, something more pure, more real, something that feels good to be with, something that is comfortable and not the least bit awkward. Something infinitely more powerful, because it exists in deeper levels of reality. It is shared kinetic energy, not imaginative potential energy.

And it is right before me, making it easy to forget about past artifacts, no matter how brightly they glow.

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